Tuesday, August 30, 2011

The Sun Always Rises

I had the amazing pleasure of listening to a speaker yesterday who was the same speaker I heard at my very first meeting.

It was a HUGE reminder of how far I've come and beautiful to listen to how far he has come. I love that I choose to attend meetings where I can watch others grow, actively.  It's such a gift that we have that. I went out briefly for fellowship with some friends I hadn't seen in a while and then took a yoga class.  It was a beautiful day. 

I was thinking this morning as I left early for work & watched the pink of the sunrise kiss & reflect off the buildings around me that the sun always rises, and though last night was by no means a dark night for me. When I had those dark nights of the soul, the sun eventually rose.  No night lasts forever, that is a beautiful peace of mind.
Photo courtesy of http://cameronclayton.com/

Monday, August 29, 2011

Drama!

I'll admit  it.  I love drama yet hate it at the same time. 

I was caught up all Friday with the impending storm 'Irene'.  so much in fact that I went straight home after work skipping my meeting so I could obsessively check & re-check all our preparations and then visit weather.com every ten or so minutes for all the updates. I jumped in fully to the drama, heeded the warnings  & lived for every update. It was exahausting.

I woke up Saturday morning praying that my job for that would be cancelled, it wasn't.  Regardless of my feelings about it,  I showed up.  Which was good because there were only about 6 of us.  I was put on bartending which isn't a normal duty for me but when resources are thin you just gotta do what you're told.  The job itself wasn't so hard but boy was my judgements!  There was the one woman who kept coming and asking me to 'make it a strong one'.  Sometimes I hate those mirrors that show up in life but tonight I was grateful under all the judgement.  Grateful that I wouldn't have to stumble home through a hurricane!

I feel a bit foolish now that it's all said and done.  I am grateful that we had enough warning and that thankfully New York City did not get hit as badly as they thought.  I pray for those areas that are recovering from intense damage & flooding.  Can't WAIT for my meeting tonight which will be followed by a yoga class!

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

I don't really have anything specific to update about but I'd wanted to try & write more on here so rather than hem & haw about what I want to say, I'm just gonna type.

Fall seems to be creeping in here which is welcome, though I'd prefer a few more weeks of summer.  I've gotten back into a good schedule with meetings as well as the gym which has done wonders for me.  Chris & I are also working on the 100 pushup challenge/200 situp challenge (http://www.onehundredpushups.com/)

I'm looking forward to meeting with my sponsor tonight.  I'm both excited & scared to start the steps again.   I want to remain teachable and open so I will try to go in with that mind set rather than the - i've done this before why am I doing it again idea.

Sending some love to all my bloggy friends!  XO

Friday, August 12, 2011

Great Day

I was asked last minute to qualify at my home group the other night.  It was a blssing in disguise and a reminder that service ALWAYS keeps me sober and makes me feel better.  I was taught early on to always say yes to service and I'm glad I did.

Yesterday I had a day beyond my wildest dreams.  Firstly it could not have been a more beautiful day here in New York, I think God was showing off a bit but I'm happy about that.  Secondly, Chris & I spent most of the morning & afternoon cruising around & touring possible wedding venues.  It's amazing to think that a year from now I will be a married man.  I love it.  To top it all off, we got to attend a beautiful wedding ceremony last night for our friends Doug & Shawn.  I never thought I was one to cry at weddings, but apparently, I am.

Today, I think about the stark difference in my life now versus what it was four and a half years ago. I am so grateful for this program and the people in it who have taught me how to live. 

Friday, August 5, 2011

Avail Yourself of a Sponsor

I met my sponsor in the way that worked best for me.  It was outside of the meeting room while waiting in line for the restroom and no one else was around.  It was around 13 days in and I was a nervous wreck when it came to talking to people or even speaking in meetings.  He asked a simple question:
'How are you today?'

I don't recall how I responded but I did tell him I was new. He gave me his number and asked if I could do him one small favor and just call him tonight to let him know I got home OK.  I did.  I don't remember much of that conversation either but it resulted in agreeing to get coffee together. His kind eyes, his relating to me that he had felt that way too spoke to me on levels I didn't acknowledge until much later on down my path.  He saved me without my knowing it.

We began to work together and have done so for the last four and a half years.  Recently, I re-committed to doing the steps together and being a bit more accountable & active in our recovery.  It certainly is the gift that keeps on giving.

I hope one day to be the kind of man to someone else the way he is to me.   If you don't have a sponsor get one.  It will change your life.  If you do have one, ask the question I asked myself recently - is this relationship working?  If it's not, what can change? What can WE do to work this WE program.  I promise you won't be sorry you did.