Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Right Here Right Now

I feel like the world is swirling around me and so much to take care of.

I'm at work for two more days and then gone for 2 weeks. I'm negotiating our lease renewal. I'm signing the contract for the show I'm doing. I'm waiting to hear news an another show I'm considered for. I'm trying to get my service positions covered. I'm learning lines and on and on and on.

When I get this way I find it's the perfect opportunity to breathe, and focus on what's in front of me.  I can only do one thing at a time.  FIRST THINGS FIRST.   Life will sometimes swirl around you, it a perfect reminder to stay in the moment, trust in the higher power that gently guides through each day, and put one foot in front of the other. 

There is no other place I'd rather be!

Monday, May 23, 2011

Tender Lovin' Care

I walked into a meeting yesterday & it was the perfect place for me - a meeting on Step 3 - EXACTLY what I needed.

Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over the the CARE of God as we understand him.

It was pointed out quite beautifully in the meeting that we turn our will & out lives over to the CARE of God.  Not the punishment of God, not the judgement of God, not the lack of God but the complete and total CARE.

I'd never heard that step in that way before and now I see it differently.  I had a shift in that meeting that made me think regardless of all the things I needlessly worry about, I am truly and totally taken care of and when I trust in that, listen to the guidance I am given by my idea of a Higher Power and stay in a service mind frame in all areas of my life, I'm in a good place.  I'm in the middle of the road on this journey and I put one foot in front of the other a bit more confidently.

Life is good, really really good. Thanks to God.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

A Quiet Thing

What do you do when your dream arrives?

I'm reminded of the song 'A Quiet Thing' from 'Flora, the Red Menace'.....specifically the lyric:  When it all comes through, just the way you planned it's funny but the bells don't ring.  It's a quiet thing.

Amidst the craziness that has been this week, I got cast in a show!   I am thrilled.  It's great news and it'll take me away to Vermont for a week which I think is slightly needed.  Don't get me wrong I love this city LOVE this city, but I do think that sometimes to fully love this city you need some time away.  It's interesting because I view getting this gig as something completely divinely guided.  It's not this HUGE thing that I built up in my head,  as usual when I get an acting gig.  I start to think, oh this, this will be the one to launch my career! Broadway here I come.....and while definitely that is where I'm headed, this gig is a step in that direction.  A step on a staircase where I can't see the top, if in fact the top even is Broadway - who knows.  I'm excited for the opportunity to grow, expand, play

The other quiet thing I've thought about lately is meditation.  A quiet thing that has seriously lacked in my life.  I was given the gift of Meditation for Beginners by Jack Kornfield.  A guiding meditation CD.  So far it's helpful.  I'm excited to start growing in this way too.  I feel it's a huge part of my program that has been missing or rather ignored. I look forward to integrating it.

What are your favorite meditation tips?

Friday, May 6, 2011

Step by Step

I love those moments in life when the thing that is SO obvious screams through.

I've been hemming and hawing lately,  do I want to be an actor? do I not?  I've been comparing others success to my own which is simply a recipe for complacency with a dash of fear, or rather a few cups full. I've started to get back to gratitude, meetings and service service service!

I've started feeling better and started to take ACTION in my life. Submissions, Auditions, I'm hitting them again. It feels good.

And, thanks to this program and my practice with Intensati, it also feels different.  My 'aha' moment was when someone told me, it's not my job to decide what's right for me, my job is to show up and do my best.  The rest is none of my concern.  My job is take the step without knowing where the staircase leads, have a little faith if you will.

Something clicked in my head while in a meeting shortly after I'd read this advice from my friend. The word steps.  I'd had some fear about approaching and moving through the 12 steps of our program but I did it, with the gentle guidance of a sponsor and the ability to talk through each step each moment with my fellows. In fact I couldn't have done it without all of those people. I'm a grateful for that.

I am trying to approach my life in much the same way, take the steps in faith, talk about my fear.

All I really need to know I learned when counting days :)

Thursday, May 5, 2011

 I am grateful today for:
my sponsor and the wisdom he imparts
the opportunity to be of service tonight
for remaining open & learning
for stepping through fear
for being in the moment(s) today when we went to visit our first wedding venue!!  AH!
for the magic that is Harry Potter
for the magic around us all the time
for being sober
for all of you

Monday, May 2, 2011

Return to Gratitude

I am grateful today for:
1.) Living in a wonderful apartment in New York City
2.) The ability to practice Intensati this morning
3.) That most days I live in acceptance
4.) That I can practice patience & understanding, virtues lost on me while I was drinking
5.) The ability to love & accept love taught to me by the rooms of AA

I thought or rather have felt lately that I need a serious dose of gratitude in my life so I'm going to try to get back to posting that at least daily.  Much Love to you!