Sunday, November 29, 2009

Stunning. Baffling. Powerful

I bought a t-shirt that said that at the round up last night. So funny.

I had a great time last night, I did service at coat check and got to talk to a lot of my AA friends, and even some I didn't know. It was a really cool experience to know people's names and smile at them

I've been very concious lately in trying a new approach with people, dropping judgement, smiling and being nice no matter what. It seems to work, it's a tricky thing here in the city - people don't expect niceness most of the time so it's fun to surprise them.

Anyway - I read this passage in the book I'm reading (Eat.Pray.Love. by Elizabeth Gilbert) and it says:
"You were given life; it is your duty (and also your entitlement as a human being) to find something beautiful within life, no matter how slight"

This is an attitude I can fully support and work with on a day to day basis. It's almost an adventure, finding the beauty in life. When I stop and take the moment to do so, I realize it's all around me.

Monday, November 23, 2009


I've been affirming on the phone with one my friends for the past two weeks, it's been great.

It was suggested to me that I write down my top 3 for today and focus on them, so since I don't have my actual journal with me, I thought I'd write them here:

1.) I am an actor and work as one

2.) I let my God given light shine in all that I do

3.) I set fear dwon and live in faith now!

Thanks for the suggestion Lindsay!

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Thank you

I sit here in gratitude every day.

I just finished leaving my friend Paul a message. I thanked him for the difference he makes in my life, and threw down the challenge/reminder that he can make a difference today.

And THEN, God stepped in and threw down the challenge to me: Put your money where your mouth is.

I have this co-worker who constantly tests every good bone in my body. Even when she's not here she drives me nuts with the things she doesn't do that I have to clean up.

Anyway - Today is the day I can do something different. Try to make a difference in her day and really alter the way I treat someone. It starts with me and it starts today.

I owe it all to sobriety to that I say - Thanks!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Wearing it on my sleeve

I've been pondering my openness a lot lately.

I was in a traditions meeting (which I usually avoid) but it was tradition 11:
"Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, and films."

What sticks with me is the attratcion rather than promotion. I certainly no that no good will come if I walk around like come kind of braggart talking about all the GOOD AA has done me, I need to be a man of action. I need to remember and believe that my actions will speak volumes over any words that I speak.

That being said, I feel like I need to be more open about being in AA. I've had a few conversations and interactions recently where I feel I was given the opportunity to be open and I chose to be evasive and general. I forget how HARD it was/is to ask for help, especially when you're not even sure what to ask for.

I will pray to be more vigilant and less afraid of sharing myself with others.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Who Am I?

Thanks to Scott for posting this quote which is thought was apropos:

"We have every reason to look forward into the future with hope and excitement. Fear nothing and no one. Work honestly. Be good, be happy. And remember that each of you is unique, your soul your own, irreplaceable and individual in the miracle of your mortal frame". ~ Pearl S. Buck

In the effort of doing something different and challenging - I've decided to write a novel. My friend Justin (of threw down a challenge for the month of November to write a novel in just 30 days!?!?!??!@$&*#$%^@#

I'm jumping in feet first. I've written the first chapter but have to keep going. I would never call myself a writer, but really why not? Why do I let that voice in my head tell me no. I can be anything I want to be. My problem lies in that if it's not going to be perfect, well then why try? It's behavior I'm trying to change.

Instead of focusing on whether this will be the next great American novel, or a prize winner - I'm. just. writing. and in doing so combating all those little demons that tell me otherwise. Ghost busting if you will :) (Thanks Lindsay)

I'm plunging in! Here goes!