Today is the day I dread all year, it marks the 5 year anniversary of my Father's passing. It's a day usually full of a lot of 'stuff' to sort out emotionally and so far each year has been quite different.
I miss my Dad every day.
I think it not at all a coincidence that given this time of year and my recent struggles with faith that I've finally started reading 'The Shack' by Wm. Paul Young. Its the story of a man who meets God and gets to ask the questions we all want to I guess
A noteable passage: 'something that makes sense only if you can see the bigger picture of reality. Maybe that is where faith fits in.'
I think right now I can't glimpse that bigger picture so as sad and angry as I've been with recent happenings, I have to have faith in the bigger picture.
Another realization I had this past week is that I cannot WAIT to be a Dad. I was holding my cousins baby who is 4 months old and was named after my Uncle Tim who passed away - i held that baby and the circle that is life became abundantly clear. It also pulled on this need in myself to have a child. Not tomorrow clearly but in the future it is something I want.
A part of my Dad's spirit - is a part of mine.
9 months ago