Wednesday, June 24, 2009

3 days down

I've been out on Fire Island since Sunday and let me tell you this is the way to do it

Start here when most everyone has already returned to the city, get some real peace, serenity and relaxation. Pump up my sobriety by going to meetings, talking to my home group members, praying, journaling and reading.

My housemates all return on Friday but I feel firmly planted right now so I'm not worried.

Off to play some more Wii fit (which by the way told me my fit age was 39....).
Stupid computers

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

For Humor & Posterity

I had a flashback this morning that literally made me laugh out loud!

When I was living with my boyfriends (yes plural), we had received the movie 'Babel' via Netflix.

We watch about half of it because it was late and a week night, but were astounded!

How cool that the first part of the movie is completely in other languages, just like the tower of babel - what genius directing, editing & acting. We followed the story without a lick of knowledge of languages other than our own.

The next night we sit down to watch the other half, and realize to our sadness & surprise we'd turned off the subtitles somehow but they did exsist. HA! Even three brains aren't better than one sometimes

Each New Day

I love watching change.

I resist in myself naturally but I like watching it around me, and more so I like being open to it's effects.

This Friday the company I work for laid off 3 people, from a staff of 20. Since that moment myself and 3 of the other remaining people that cover those jobs have really bonded together in such an effort of team work & spirit.

I'm grateful that my ego stayed checked, and that as sad as it was to lose those people, the dawning of a new enviroment is a nice silver lining.

I look at my life and think WOW. I'm so happy to be able to face each day a little clearer, A LOT happier and to look at each day with the eyes of oppotunity and service.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Discoveries

Recently - I've discovered the following things about myself and need to note them for posterity.
- More and more I'm able to take action in all areas of my life regardless of how I 'feel' about it.
- I have the capacity to love someone without expectation
- The beauty of self discovery is a unique and amazing gift
- Tears come more easily to my eyes
- That I can practice listening

I have two visuals in my head as of late (Thanks mostly to Scott)

A bird in flight lifted and supported by the wind, letting go and flowing with the rhythm of life

A memory of trekking through the woods as a boyscout with a map, compass & the spirit of discovery running through me - unafraid and faithful.

My ideal is to be a combination of those two images - Today I will strive for that.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Something I Love

Thunderstorms


There was a doozy last night - it felt like it was right outside my window. I LOVE sleeping during them, i cracked my window so I could hear the rain & thunder and feel the strong breeze on my face. I love that I find peace and solace in natures chaos.

...probably also why I love living in New York.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

I'm Back

I'm always astounded at the solace and comfort I find in hiding & falling off the radar.

I will try my hardest to keep from doing so. I've had a lot of trouble motivating myself lately to do the things that are good for me: Meditate, Clean & Organize, Go to meetings, Share, Reach out, Ask for help. Today has been a better day.

I finally shared in a meeting last night, a story which turned out to be more of a metaphor for my life at the moment:
(the long version)

Two weeks ago I decided, though I don't really know how and have told myself I can't do it well, I decided to stop dropping off my shirts to be pressed and instead iron them myself. Save money, domesticate myself a bit - why not.

For TWO WEEKS, I've slept on one half of my bed because the other half is covered with my clean, but wrinkled laundry (pants and shirts that need to ironed).

I was leaving the meeting and one of my friends said, Just Do It! and for some reason that stuck with me - and last night, though I didn't iron cause I got home late, I did clear off my bed and sleep on the whole thing.

ACTION ACTION ACTION - I also love that the word ACT is in prACTice!