Wednesday, May 27, 2009

What's the good of walls?

I had an interesting weekend out on the island - most of which was fun.

I noticed something come Sunday though, I had been hiding behind my wall - the very same one I started to take down when I came into the program. I'm still astounded at how quickly that wall goes back up.

I kept myself so seperate I think for some reason in order to stay safe - the problem is if no one can get in, I can't get out. I didn't get sober to keep hiding.

I must find a way to enjoy myself & relax a little I think. I've got a few weeks to figure out my tactics there so that'll be good.

Hope you're all well!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Call to Action

Happy Tuesday!

I was inspired this morning when reading the story of a 9 year old boy from Colorado who organized a rally in favor of marraige equality.
9 years old!

As some of you know, New York is on the brink of passing a bill that would declare equal marraige rights to all couples. Having already passed in the assembly, we are working towards getting it passed in the senate and only have until June 20th!

Please visit: SPEAK OUT for easy links to contacting your senate represenatives and telling them that marraige equality is important to you! If you're getting this and don't live in New York, please forward it to friends or relatives that do. If you do not live in a state where marraige equality exsists - ASK WHY?

The reason that marraige equality is so important is that it will give gay couples the same rights that married couples have. It has nothing to do with the religious institutions view on marraige because that is truly besides the point.

At the end of the day, this is about L-O-V-E, after all it's what makes the world go around. If a 9 year old can promote this idea, what is stopping us?

Cynthia Nixon
Audra MCDonald

Thank you for reading,

In Hope and Love, Jeremy

Friday, May 15, 2009

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Updating

I guess I should check in as it's been a while (apologies)

I had a great & challenging weekend. My share started on Fire Island this past weekend. I'm in a house with 7 other friends who are not in the program (some should be...). I had fun, but learned that just like in early sobriety, I need a plan. A plan that includes meetings, calling program folk and setting boundaries. The point is that I got through it, albeit maybe a little willfully and I know now that I don't have to do it the hard way.

I think that is the beauty of the program really is that I'm given the opportunity & choice. I choose. Then evaluate, did this bring me closer of further from a drink? If the answer is closer, well then what can I do different.

I'm looking forward to our next weekend out there May 21st!

In other news, things are progressing with 'the boy'. I'm much more surprised when we hang out and I am able to let go of expectations - the evenings flow much better.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Oh the Past

I've had more than a few conversations recently with friends, family and myself about the past, specifically when it comes to relationships.

What I find amusing is I'm knee deep in the tango of an early relationship and it seems the world (or rather my world and the people in it) is all in the same place, which I find helpful when I don't know what to do.

I read this article , which is an open letter to Rhianna, this morning. What I gleaned from it only supported the ideas I've been thinking and sharing with those around me who asked. That our past experiences don't have to define our future ones.

The past. It's a funny thing. It's led to exactly where I am today, but I feel it in no way defines who I am.

When it comes to relationships, why do I (we) project the past onto the present & future? I think that the key is changing ourselves or our thought process.

The truth of the matter is, the man that I am getting to know is just that - a man I'm getting to know. He is himself & that's all I can ask. He is not any past boyfriend or experience and I catch myself projecting those things on him from time to time. I hear this from anyone else I know who is starting that same journey.

Where does it lie? Have I not dealt with the past experiences? Forgiven them? Forgiven myself? It's all so curious.

I remind myself the following things: Take it easy, stay present & for chris-sakes, try to enjoy yourself a little - it's not that serious.

(I have no idea if any of this is coherent - it's really just a stream of consciousness)

**Sorry I had to delete this original post & re-post because of some people and their nasty ways of showing their beliefs**

Live and Let Live Folks