I've been affirming on the phone with one my friends for the past two weeks, it's been great.
It was suggested to me that I write down my top 3 for today and focus on them, so since I don't have my actual journal with me, I thought I'd write them here:
1.) I am an actor and work as one
2.) I let my God given light shine in all that I do
3.) I set fear dwon and live in faith now!
Thanks for the suggestion Lindsay!
Monday, November 23, 2009
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Thank you
I sit here in gratitude every day.
I just finished leaving my friend Paul a message. I thanked him for the difference he makes in my life, and threw down the challenge/reminder that he can make a difference today.
And THEN, God stepped in and threw down the challenge to me: Put your money where your mouth is.
I have this co-worker who constantly tests every good bone in my body. Even when she's not here she drives me nuts with the things she doesn't do that I have to clean up.
Anyway - Today is the day I can do something different. Try to make a difference in her day and really alter the way I treat someone. It starts with me and it starts today.
I owe it all to sobriety to that I say - Thanks!
I just finished leaving my friend Paul a message. I thanked him for the difference he makes in my life, and threw down the challenge/reminder that he can make a difference today.
And THEN, God stepped in and threw down the challenge to me: Put your money where your mouth is.
I have this co-worker who constantly tests every good bone in my body. Even when she's not here she drives me nuts with the things she doesn't do that I have to clean up.
Anyway - Today is the day I can do something different. Try to make a difference in her day and really alter the way I treat someone. It starts with me and it starts today.
I owe it all to sobriety to that I say - Thanks!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Wearing it on my sleeve
I've been pondering my openness a lot lately.
I was in a traditions meeting (which I usually avoid) but it was tradition 11:
"Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, and films."
What sticks with me is the attratcion rather than promotion. I certainly no that no good will come if I walk around like come kind of braggart talking about all the GOOD AA has done me, I need to be a man of action. I need to remember and believe that my actions will speak volumes over any words that I speak.
That being said, I feel like I need to be more open about being in AA. I've had a few conversations and interactions recently where I feel I was given the opportunity to be open and I chose to be evasive and general. I forget how HARD it was/is to ask for help, especially when you're not even sure what to ask for.
I will pray to be more vigilant and less afraid of sharing myself with others.
I was in a traditions meeting (which I usually avoid) but it was tradition 11:
"Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, and films."
What sticks with me is the attratcion rather than promotion. I certainly no that no good will come if I walk around like come kind of braggart talking about all the GOOD AA has done me, I need to be a man of action. I need to remember and believe that my actions will speak volumes over any words that I speak.
That being said, I feel like I need to be more open about being in AA. I've had a few conversations and interactions recently where I feel I was given the opportunity to be open and I chose to be evasive and general. I forget how HARD it was/is to ask for help, especially when you're not even sure what to ask for.
I will pray to be more vigilant and less afraid of sharing myself with others.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Who Am I?
Thanks to Scott for posting this quote which is thought was apropos:
"We have every reason to look forward into the future with hope and excitement. Fear nothing and no one. Work honestly. Be good, be happy. And remember that each of you is unique, your soul your own, irreplaceable and individual in the miracle of your mortal frame". ~ Pearl S. Buck
In the effort of doing something different and challenging - I've decided to write a novel. My friend Justin (of justinplusone.com) threw down a challenge for the month of November to write a novel in just 30 days!?!?!??!@$&*#$%^@#
I'm jumping in feet first. I've written the first chapter but have to keep going. I would never call myself a writer, but really why not? Why do I let that voice in my head tell me no. I can be anything I want to be. My problem lies in that if it's not going to be perfect, well then why try? It's behavior I'm trying to change.
Instead of focusing on whether this will be the next great American novel, or a prize winner - I'm. just. writing. and in doing so combating all those little demons that tell me otherwise. Ghost busting if you will :) (Thanks Lindsay)
I'm plunging in! Here goes!
"We have every reason to look forward into the future with hope and excitement. Fear nothing and no one. Work honestly. Be good, be happy. And remember that each of you is unique, your soul your own, irreplaceable and individual in the miracle of your mortal frame". ~ Pearl S. Buck
In the effort of doing something different and challenging - I've decided to write a novel. My friend Justin (of justinplusone.com) threw down a challenge for the month of November to write a novel in just 30 days!?!?!??!@$&*#$%^@#
I'm jumping in feet first. I've written the first chapter but have to keep going. I would never call myself a writer, but really why not? Why do I let that voice in my head tell me no. I can be anything I want to be. My problem lies in that if it's not going to be perfect, well then why try? It's behavior I'm trying to change.
Instead of focusing on whether this will be the next great American novel, or a prize winner - I'm. just. writing. and in doing so combating all those little demons that tell me otherwise. Ghost busting if you will :) (Thanks Lindsay)
I'm plunging in! Here goes!
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Smiles and Laughter
I had a quote in my inbox today:
"What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul".
- Yiddish proverb
This past weekend I went up to the Catskills to my friend Brian's place. It was a secluded little cabin on Mt. Tremper. The weather was rainy Friday and Saturday nights which gave the four of us: myself, Brad, Michael & Brian the chance to just chill. We sat for HOURS around the wood fireplace drinking coffee, sharing stories and laughing our asses off. The conversation went from serious program AA stuff to all other kinds of silly. Things we did both before and after we got sober that really just indicate how crazy and yet how free we are now.
As the night was winding down, I remembered the day I met these guys. Brad I had known for years. One night after a meeting about 2 weeks into my starting AA, Brad grabbed me by the collar and said: "C'mon let's get coffee". I thought it'd be just him so I agreed. We walk across the street to Dean and Deluca, and there around a table were Brian & Michael and two empty chairs. I felt like it was going to be the inquisition. I sat down with my coffee and mostly just listened to these men talk. Talk about being drunk, talk about being sober but what struck me the most was the fact that they were laughing!
I'd wanted to yell: "GUYS! I'M NOT DRINKING ANYMORE - THIS IS SERIOUS!!"
Two and a half years later, sitting around that fire - I was struck with gratitude for the grace that got me there and more so every day for the fact that I can laugh and smile again. It was restored my soul as AA has started to restore my life.
"What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul".
- Yiddish proverb
This past weekend I went up to the Catskills to my friend Brian's place. It was a secluded little cabin on Mt. Tremper. The weather was rainy Friday and Saturday nights which gave the four of us: myself, Brad, Michael & Brian the chance to just chill. We sat for HOURS around the wood fireplace drinking coffee, sharing stories and laughing our asses off. The conversation went from serious program AA stuff to all other kinds of silly. Things we did both before and after we got sober that really just indicate how crazy and yet how free we are now.
As the night was winding down, I remembered the day I met these guys. Brad I had known for years. One night after a meeting about 2 weeks into my starting AA, Brad grabbed me by the collar and said: "C'mon let's get coffee". I thought it'd be just him so I agreed. We walk across the street to Dean and Deluca, and there around a table were Brian & Michael and two empty chairs. I felt like it was going to be the inquisition. I sat down with my coffee and mostly just listened to these men talk. Talk about being drunk, talk about being sober but what struck me the most was the fact that they were laughing!
I'd wanted to yell: "GUYS! I'M NOT DRINKING ANYMORE - THIS IS SERIOUS!!"
Two and a half years later, sitting around that fire - I was struck with gratitude for the grace that got me there and more so every day for the fact that I can laugh and smile again. It was restored my soul as AA has started to restore my life.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
The Choice
I love that I have two things in my life that really keep me moving in an amazing direction.
Meetings and Sati
Between the two I had a great revelation this week, especially after my Big Book meeting last night. We read 'The Family Afterward'. Usually, I throw up a block about that chapter as well as 'To The Wives' AND 'To Employers' - Why? well because
'it's not about me!'
As is often the case when I take this tact, I find that I am dead wrong.
Through my Sati experience this past month I've really been able to embrace the word 'Abundance' and invite it in to my life in many ways. In the meeting last night during this passage: "That is true only if one is willing to turn the past to good account. We grow by our willingness to face and rectify errors and convert them into assets" - (pg 124 - Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous), I was struck!
Struck with the amazing self awareness I've been cultivating and AWED by the idea that today with all the good in my life, I can choose to make a different choice.
With regards, to work, a carreer in acting, relationships - romantic, familial or even friends. Today I can choose a different action, sometimes contrary to those I've ALWAYS done. Maybe a different result can occur maybe not - but I KNOW the answer if I don't try, and I KNOW that regardless the outcome I WILL GROW.
LOVE LIFE RIGHT NOW! I'm listenting to Dvorak's 'New World Symphony' as I write this and indeed it is - A NEW WORLD
Meetings and Sati
Between the two I had a great revelation this week, especially after my Big Book meeting last night. We read 'The Family Afterward'. Usually, I throw up a block about that chapter as well as 'To The Wives' AND 'To Employers' - Why? well because
'it's not about me!'
As is often the case when I take this tact, I find that I am dead wrong.
Through my Sati experience this past month I've really been able to embrace the word 'Abundance' and invite it in to my life in many ways. In the meeting last night during this passage: "That is true only if one is willing to turn the past to good account. We grow by our willingness to face and rectify errors and convert them into assets" - (pg 124 - Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous), I was struck!
Struck with the amazing self awareness I've been cultivating and AWED by the idea that today with all the good in my life, I can choose to make a different choice.
With regards, to work, a carreer in acting, relationships - romantic, familial or even friends. Today I can choose a different action, sometimes contrary to those I've ALWAYS done. Maybe a different result can occur maybe not - but I KNOW the answer if I don't try, and I KNOW that regardless the outcome I WILL GROW.
LOVE LIFE RIGHT NOW! I'm listenting to Dvorak's 'New World Symphony' as I write this and indeed it is - A NEW WORLD
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